Saturday, July 7, 2012

Counting on...







Finally back to blog. It's like been so long since the last time i updated my blog.
So this june holiday, simply is so boring for me. I have lots of intensive tuition.
Well, N'level is around the corner, i am so afraid that i won't do well. Oh yeah, there's a new scheme called DPA. My tutor told me that the courses in DPA aren't that good. HMMM, so shall consider.
And i want to get in to JC badly... arghhh.
But my ENGLISH will kill me :'(


I did not know what is true love till i met you, you let me believe in the word "forever" .
I love you forever, that's a promise.

Monday, April 16, 2012

love

What's love?:)


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Sunday, March 4, 2012

dilemma









I am really lost in word. I really don't know what am i doing this few days. I know what i want yet i did not put in any effort. I am so disappointed in myself, til i broke down last night. I cried telling myself that i am useless. It really hurt so bad so bad last night. The same thing repeating my mind over again and over again. It hurt so badly. I nearly broke into tears right now again....
Perhaps, the word "KARMA" really do exist. I am a bitch such a bitch. I am really sorry about it, i did not want to hurt you too. No one knows, if i know this would be the outcome i would rather not talk to you in the first place. If only.

My life is really so so boring.
Last night, while i am studying half way i broke down and cried badly. My house, the woman ask me to go sleep she ask me to stop studying and being so depressed.
I really want to finish my math homework that time but she switch off my light and force me to sleep. But i am so proud of myself that i can finally balance a final account adjustment by myself, *clap for myself* .
This few nights been studying to quite late, i am quite happy that i manage to study especially this few night i manage to focus and concentrate. It's really time for me to wake up and start studying, no more in my lala land. Before it's too late and i regret again. I did not went netball training again on Friday, my mum was like asking me stop skipping CCA already. I agreed with her too, but i really want to step down soon.
Shall blog to here, need to prepare and go Far East Shopping Central(ORCHARD) for POA tuition soon.
I am extremely afraid that someone else, someone better and less complicated, would take you away from me. You’re all i think about, you’re all i wanna talk to. I constantly check my phone hoping that i got a text from you.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Fact








Honestly speaking, i really don't understand myself sometimes. Yes, don't understand. How can other understand me when i don't even understand myself at all.
Maybe I'm really petty, maybe I'm an easy jealous person, or maybe...
To be honest, i can’t imagine my life without you any more. You are part of my daily routine, a day feels so damn incomplete if i don’t get to talk you.
I remember how we first met, my first impression of you. I remember everything clearly.
I remember when i started to like you.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

failure








CONFESSION.
2011 is going to end soon in like two weeks times, i shall post before the new start of 2012. I guess this year is just an average year for me. Sometimes it just feels like no matter how hard I try, I can't get anything right. friendships fail, relationships fail, studies fail, and I perpetually let anyone who has faith in me, down. where is this path leading to? Firstly, i only start being serious with god's word, study, relationship etc.. like during march. I regretted a lot things, not obey god's word. Didn't listen to my parents, honestly speaking i done a lot of thing, be in good or bad. But mostly bad things. One thing i need to praise god that is he never fail to encourage me, he's always being there for me no matter how busy am i. I can't say that god doesn't care for me, god's busy with his stuff, NO. This is not the way, the fact is im busy with my own stuff and doesn't even care about god. This year, i have been overslept finding excuses not to attend services and etc... it's not a good thing i really need to change my attitude and i should pay more attention too and be focus. I really should stop fooling around. The Lord blesses us with peace his blessed peace. In our time of trouble seek out the Lord in times of joy forget Him that he is ever present. These are the promises you hang unto when the going gets rough…these are the words that strengthen you. He tells us He is crowning us with loving kindness and tender mercies. His word tells us He will never leave us nor forsake us. What have we to fear? He loves us and keeps us safe. Remember our help comes from the Lord. He is fighting on our behalf. Be sure this is true, start praising Him for His keeping power. I thanks god for letting me to score with my good grades and get in GEYLANG METHODIST SECONDARY SCHOOL. I really glad that i came in to Geylang Methodist church, people there's have been always helping me and encourage me especially MEI SHI she never fail to give up on me even there's time i made her til very mad. She's always been there helping me and guiding me. I really need to thanks her a lot for helping me through this whole year. Thanks lord for letting me to know her. I believed everything do happened for a reason. Study, i have been telling myself that i need to study yes study, but i didn't done anything at all yes lack of determination and stuff. I must really study hard next year, argh . N'level and O'level math i having next year, i really need to buck up so that i could go to junior college, i REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO GET IT. Quite disappointed in myself, told myself next year will be a better year got to buck on my studies and relationship with god, amen. :)







Hey this sweet little couple, you guys better last long man! :) You both are such a cute and lovely couple man. OPPS, im sorry i only got this few photos in my computer so yup. Here's a small dedication for you guys. I believe you guys went through a lot this one whole month uh. There's up and down during the relationship and just a blink of eye a month has for you guys. During this month you guys are the only couple that are sweet and without quarrel. CONGRATS(: I wish you guys really can last long and a blessed marriage in future. WAHAHAH...




Rena and Yujie I wish you guys can last and no more misunderstanding anymore. I know there's a lot of misunderstanding this few days but im glad that we sort it out and clear it. No more anything misunderstanding since i left him and yum. I guess im the one who causes those trouble for being so paranoid . Well, it's over. I wish you guys all the best in future and good luck.





RELATIONSHIP.
I guess im really a failure uh in relationship, i cant last a relationship at all. I want a relationship that can last yes last. I doesn't want a perfect relationship. I just want someone who I can act silly with, someone who treats me well and loves being with me. A relationship with trust, with care, with patience, with joke and no envy. This time around i thought that Bryan Wong was the perfect guy for me and i though we could last but i didn't thought that such thing will happened, kind of disappointed. Actually is totally can. At first, starting of our relationship we were so sweet and i keep thinking that he's a really nice guy. He paint me a blue sky, and go back and turned it to rain. We've a lot thing in common e,g religious, hobbies, primary school and etc...I realised our relationship from the start was a mistake. It's really a big mistake for us to be together, i feel like a sinner now. Both of us been quarrel stuff over again and again , yet both of us paperover the cracks. Somehow, i still miss him so much that i even dreamt of him.
Most importantly, move on. I am feeling so much better after having some form of closure in terms of my relationship. Even though that answer was something which I've never ever expected, I guess its better for me this way.
Perhaps, the best way to appreciate something is to be without it for awhile.
But after we broke up. We ignore each other and try to pretend the other person doesn't exist, but deep down, we know it wasn't supposed to end like this.
I really miss those past, those memories, those fun we once had. Reading our past conversations. Memories. Beautifully written. When the truth is told, everything else seems like a lie. I wanna forget about the past. Why is it so beautiful? Why did it become a contrast of present?



FRIENDSHIP.
Obviously, i wont forgotten patricia! Almost 9years of friendship and stuff. I think we been through a lot during this few years. Even though after primary school, we went to different secondary school but im glad that we still keep in touch and contacting each other and stuff. But i really hope one day you will come to my church, i really want to invite you to jesus christ, i know it's abit hard but i wont give up. Seeing each other grow up year by year. HAHA, next year N'lvl already uh, better study hard and no more playing around hor. HAHA. We should start studying together soon. WELl, im so glad to have you, xoxo.
Yes, i wont miss up the rest like Wan Ling, Jaimee, Pamela, Natalie, Daren, Matthew and etc.. I cant name out all... alot. I really want to thank wanling, although i have transfer school and we didnt contact as much as the past but i will never forget you. You still help me celebrate my birthday this year and stuff. I didnt even wish yours... feel so bad. Jaimee, you're the one who never fail to make me laugh and your cute little face. HAHA. SAME here goes to you. Even though i transfer school already, we still meet up study together shop together and you even came to help me to celebrate for me and woke up early just for me. I really need to thanks you both girls alot, WANLING and JAIMEE, 3years of friendship and counting. And esp my netball mates even though we've drifted due to some reason and misunderstanding but i really miss those time and those surprise you girls have give me during my birthday. I want back the past.


CONCLUSION.
2011 is a average nice, but i hope 2012 will be a better year for me of course. Hereby, I wished everyone MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR here. :D
Once 2012 start, Chinese new year will be around the corner soon. CANTTT WAITTTTT!!!!:)

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Next to you.








ARGH, Finally back to Singapore. Im like super happy. Overjoy when i arrived Singapore. I will never go cambodia, or maybe less developed countries. 5days sick in cambodia, i sick for 4days with high fever, flu, cough, soart throat etc... The feeling suck you know? It supposed to be a enjoyment trip end up. okay nvm....
First day, was fun. night time me and joanne when to russell gabriel jun jie their room slack talk eat poker card. They ask us to ton in their room but i dont want so ard 3plus went back to our room. My roommate is joanne. HEHE.
Second day, woke up bathe all those then went down for breakfast then went ang kor wat. The weather in Cambodia is super ultra hot okay. Then night i feeling so unwell, then russell still ask us go over their room. ARGH, then i was like joanne u want go then u go i dont want to go.
Third day, wake up feeling so cold . then went down tell miss nainee and miss liping they ask me if i want to rest in hotel, i say no. So went for CIP trip then half way there feeling so unwell. Miss liping accompany me back to hotel then took a rest. Ard evening time miss liping brought me to hospital.... and yeah.
Fourth day, feeling unwell.
Fifth day, i cant wait to go back to singapore like seriously.... In the plane i keep asking nurul how long more and timing like every five minute.

OVERALL, when i saw those kid down there, there are like super poor thing. seriously, i really choose cherish what i have now and stop demanding what i doesnt have... hmmm.good experience :)


holiday has started, i really has no idea where to go... but i know i got plenty of homework to do:( Especially math. Going to start with my homework later, wait actually i have done some yesterday. At least im quick satisfied with my result this time round, all my effort paid off. I hope next year i will be studying hard too and my effort will paid off too.
.


" Without God Our Week Would Be; Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday & Shatteredday. "

Friday, October 28, 2011

A season for everything


Okay,im finally free to blog...
Well, i watch this video i think it's really worth watching it...quite meaningful
God's always there for us.



Can i say today is the last day of school for me? Tmr going have meet the parent session. I wonder how's everything goes on. HAHA... okay, im afraid that my mum will nag at me:( okay, didnt went school on tue, feeling so sick.. seriously, i wonder can i even go cambodia which such body system! like arghhh...
okay, im looking forward to this saturday, going shopping with patricia!!!:) okay, yessss ahhhh... happy:) i dont know why, i just love going out shopping with her:)
okay wednesday, it's deepavali day which mean holiday. So went out with bell and pat. I was late, okay im late for about half hour. They were so pissed with me, sorry:(
How am i going spent with my holiday? Study? Catch up with my studies? Help my parents in their work? Go gym for workout? I dont know.. i cant bear to go out anymore. If i continue like this i can be bankrupt soon seriously.


I can claim for hundred&one times that "i'm disappointed in myself", "i'm sorry for everything" but do i know the meaning of those phrases, or are they just words to me?
words that i use ever so casually when i screw things up. Especially the words sorry & disappointed. haha, whatever, like all these will ever get into my mind.

2 Galations 12:9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."
A christian's life is never easy. Mine isn't. I still need to study to get good grades. My parents are still strict with me. Some people still talk behind my back. I still fall sometimes. But all of it doesn't seem difficult anymore like it once did. None of it seems to be like a big rock obstructing my way anymore because I'm doing life with God.

And i know that anything that happens in my life is for a cause. He is molding me for what he has in plan for me. Sometimes i want to go through tough patches. So i can grow. So i can learn more. So i will seek him more. So i will know Him more.




John once asked Jesus , "how many second chances must we give a person ? Seventy ?" Jesus replied , "No ! Seventy times seven !"
What He means is that we must always be merciful and forgiving , always giving one second chances .
I believe that if you give me a second chance , I will prove to you that I can and will turn over a new leaf . God has touched my heart , God has given me an awakening .
"I want to change , for myself , my family , God . I sincerely ask for a second chance .
Please ."

Thursday, October 27, 2011

History Repeat Itself







Finally im back to blog.
Highly doubt anyone still checks this place anymore. But anyway, back here for a short update.
One year going to pass soon just like this. My SEC3 life is going to end soon, i'm going to be SEC4 soon which mean it going to be my last lap and major exam.
Exam has ended like a week ago so it means F.R.E.E.D.O.M for me , sadly no. I going to have intensive tuition (e.g Chi POA etc... ) My mum want me to catch up on my studies this holiday. Honestly speaking, for the past one year i has been slacking so much. Whenever teacher say there's test next day, i don't even bother study when i get home, i was like ' only test, who cares '. This EOY Exam i'm glad that i managed pass almost all of my subjects . POA failed again, but it's alright i did improved:) I know i tried my best for this time round exam, i put in all my effort wait not all but at least half. Honestly speaking, i'm still not really happy with my result.
1) If i didnt studied last minute i wont get such grade.
2) If i didnt slacked for this whole year, i wont get such grade too.
I told myself next years onward i need to study hard no more playing a fool, staying back in sch for nth, go home straight after school, revise my work everyday and LASTLY no more skipping school for nothing. I doesn't want to regret like what i had regretted in P6, PSLE. Thinking back of the past i realized im such a lazy and playful kid. I need to buck up on my studies.

Well, school's been great to me. But somehow there's abit of friendship problems.
To me, there are two ways to end a friendship.
1) The bitter, sad ones. Like, in the future when you think about that friendship, all you remember is pain. Nothing else.
2) Those friendship that ends. Just like that. But they still talk occasionally and when they do, they can talk about the past. Good memories. Not bitter ones.
If i were to end a friendship, i would love to end it the 2nd way. Because in future, whenever i think of the person, i want good memories to be the first thing that crosses my mind. Not bitter, sad ones that hurts a lot.
Last night, i was thinking. And i seriously did a lot of thinking. From how we started this friendship. And i had a...i don't know. And idea perhaps? I don't how to put it. kay. Honestly. You know, ever since the starting of September incident, i feel like i no longer understand you girls. Or maybe i never did. You know when you girls said that our friendship are (or were) strong. I couldn't help but think, no. That was how i felt. Because i was still afraid. And i felt that i couldn't understand you. Of course, there are times when i truly felt that we were back to before, but there are also times when i get insecure. I always used to say hi to B, but during that period B started to ignore me and stuff. I doesnt know what i have done wrong til you girls told me that i have neglect you all. GIRLS, you know who you girls are. I didn't left you girls out because of guy or whatever friends i had. I didn't even treat you girls like substitute. That month i have been seeing doctor like every week, eating medicine for like a month. That month is also the starting of EOY month that's why i was busy and started to neglect you girls. I didnt went out with others friends after school. I went home straight after school i took my pills and slept. Yes weekend i might go out with others friend to study, but sometimes not i didnt want ask you girls alot. Some of you might be busy, sometimes i got tuition before that i doesnt know what time i ending. So whenever i ended my tuition i will random text friends ask them if they want to study with me. That month my parents are strict too, they doesnt like me to stay in school to frequent or what. Of course i must obey them right. They are my parents. This few night, i had been thinking why will i separate with you girls. I miss out the fun with you girls yes i miss. I miss those joke, those lunch outing simply i miss everything. I miss those times we saw each other and say hi smile laugh joke. Thanks for giving me those wonderful memories. Really. Thank you. And you've taught me many things. That i may not be able to learn from other friends. You know. At times like these, it really makes me think. And i start realising things that i've never realised before. All these words are from my heart. Honestly. None of these are lies. In my heart, you girls are always my goodfriends. Like my sisters.

Life has been better for me, my mum and my relationship is better now. We started heart to heart talk etc... SHOPPING used to be my favorite now im started to get bored of it. Im starting to lost interest in shopping. I dont know why either. Im starting to prefer staying at home then going out. This holiday school bringing us to Cambodia Trip i doesn't know should i be excited or what. This holiday i also need to go and slim down my fat thigh and arm. HAHA. okay lah, im really getting fatter and fatter. I really need go on diet and do exercise like seriously:( been eating oily food. Yesterday went to eat some buffet too. OKAY ACTION SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORD. GOGOGOGO!!!!!! i can do it =)

Relationship, AHHHH. Been thinking that my past is full of crap. Yes it's full of crap. All the while those relationship is puppy love. What's is love in our age now? Study hard now and get a good partner in future, this is the way. We're just too young to have r/s and manage well our r/s. We cant handle our r/s as such age. Yes totally we cant. I rather we spent those time with god than those r/s that's meaningless with no outcome If you found a right partner and who's mature enough to handle the relationship this may have some outcome, this is called meaningful and real love... seriously, i think our age now is seriously hardly can last til we marriage. unless those really true love and ur partner is older than you like more than 5years than maybe can last, if not hardly.... ACTUALLY AGE DOESNT MATTER, HAHAH YEAH!!! go uni and find a good partner, maybe JC... but not now man seriously . people can change...

Overall, 2011 going to past soon just like this. 2011 been a super tired year and super. Things been up and down. Hope 2012 is a better year ahead(:

Friday, September 9, 2011

There's nothing left to say between us .


There's nothing left to say between us .















It's alright , i dont mind . Neither am i mad nor angry with you . But im glad that we clear things up , rather then paper over the cracks . I have told myself before too, no matter what happened i will keep one chin's up . Before you told me everything , i have already prepared for the worst to come . It was kind of a mistake from the start as it's way too harsh . But im glad you come clean and everything is alright now . I dont blame him from the start, because it take two hands to clap so it cant be possible all his fault . Im in the fault too, yes im . If i didnt trust in what he say , never talk to him , just ignore him this incident wont happened too. Me MYSELF know the best , KARHWEE everyone told you what type of guy is him . Is me the one didnt listen yet choose to trust him then others told me . Yes is my fault . You guys stop pushing the blame too him. He feel sorry too . Believing that he wont be the same but well it hurts again . Im fooled enough to believe his word and this is now all what he gave me . I wonder if you're sad in any ways too. You don't care if I'm crying, you wont care about how much you've hurt by what you've said and done. You don't seem to care anymore, but did you ask yourself why did you hold on from the start and yet not give up. I have many things to tell you but just can't speak my heart anymore, all i can say is i love you. Love is blind.
To be honest , i feel nothing during the first night when he told me those things. Im just like super normal , im like okay lo who cares , hahha , i didnt even fall for you and stuff . Yup , til tuesday night when he started to ignore me or didnt replied my text i realized that i miss him so much that my heart is aching . Yes i might be ironic or paranoid who cares , THIS IS ME . Tuesday night i thought of this, when the truth is told, everything else seems like a lie . Why is my heart aching now ? I know it didnt really began from the start . Reading our past conversations , memories flow through my mind . Im a moron believing everything that you told me , it's hurting me now the most not you . I know you don't miss talking to me . I'm such a nuisance . All i do is pester you .
HONESTLY SPEAKING I STILL THINK THIS IS NOT CALLED LOVE/LIKE IT'S SIMPLY INFATUATION .
Edwin been telling me you see you still deny , i was like no really is infatuation , without his sweet word i wont fall for him . Without my foolness and without my soft hearten heart i wont fall for him , i must learnt to be firm . Yesterday went out with him wanling and l.h . Im like so happy like and im like didnt though of him and yet went i home im back to square one , this is really bad really bad . Because edwin and wanling been making me laugh the whole outing . YUPP my aunt knock some sense in me asking me to let go and give up . Telling me such guy is really not worth at all . I even told my aunt and other i willing to change for him . My aunt ask me not to be so silly say im like wasting of my time to change for him as it's like totally not worth . My aunt say a guy who's a real and truly love you he will love you for who you are not and not saying you having bad point or not good enough for me .
My mum , i dont know the shit she know . She suddenly come and talk to me about relationship stuff last night .
MUM: girl , if you want find boyfriend is can . Find those guy like your school relief teacher , you see him so hardworking . Half way in his studies also come out to work and stuff and you doesnt need to find a rich or good looking boyfriend .
ME: HUH , WHAT !?!?
MUM: Not asking you to like him , im just asking to find a good guy not those ahbeng, who's just toying your feeling . Find someone who's good and suit you .
ME: err i know ...
MUM: and please know your limit . If you girl lose your virgin you will lost your whole life . Girl cant lose their first virgin to they marry .
ME: I know ...

My aunt told me my mum is actually quite not bad already it's like very good and she's very open minded and not like those close minded mum who dont even let their child have any relationship . Because my mum ever told my mum she want me be home early and stuff because she's afraid that i turn bad and mixed with bad company . My mum even told my aunt that she afraid that i anyhow do stuff outside . She told my aunt if im like 17/18 she dont even really want care me already . She won be so strict and if i doesnt have boyfriend she will also even ask me go find . After talking with my aunt . I told my aunt i realized that my mum fallen for my tutor . Because she's always using as a example and stuff . Telling me how good he's . My aunt say ya abit , because he's hard working quite looking and stuff . I was like alright ...
Be honest after last night i realized my parents actually quite awesome . They know i been pass relationship and stuff . they didnt even say so much , my mum even ask me once does that guy treat you good or not and let me his photo . I realized that my parents is just care concern and worry about me . alright .... i must cherish them , even me and their relationship been up and down but yeah overall they are still my parents right ...

Last night i told myself fighting my tears and telling myself to stay strong . How great the impact you've brought to my life . You can have a good heart to heart talk with some other girl , but why not me ? I am sure i'm feeling a thousand times worse than her . Who's the one who said we could remain as friends and why do you make me look like nothing but a sinner who does all wrong things ? I know that this is an end . I really wanna make an effort to pull us back together , but you don't want me to hold you back . I really want you to miss my presence . I wanna forget about the past . Why is it so beautiful ? Why did it become a contrast of present? I LASTLY you know what ? “We don’t talk anymore . And you know what the saddest part is? We used to talk everyday." I miss him. so terribly. this is hurting me even more . I'd rather go back to the past when those seemed to be hurting to strangers or typical people , but it's not to me as long as we're together .
Everyone asking telling me this " Let it go. What for hold on? "
You won't know how much i miss you :(

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Give it a try








You made me smile like there's no tomorrow - iloveyou ♥.

Feeling sick again . ARGGG , i really wonder why my body so weak i mean it . Okay let's talk about last week . HEHHE , there's alot holiday uh ! I spent like most of my days with joshua and patricia . Mon thur and friday i spent with them ! HEHEH ... okay. Monday i met patricia then went to met joshua then we study ! His friend came along too , after that me and patricia separate with joshua and his friend . We both went to cine to see WCS fan meet up . Okay i mean it i wont go such place again. It's like so so crowded arggg , THEN I GOT BAD IMMUNE SYSTEM. I feel like faint on the spot ... OKAY , THIS IS HOW WEAK MY BODY IS .
Tuesday i meet up with pris we went for lunch talk shop and i went tuition after that .
Wed , is a school day . Did nothing much , haha ... after school went home then went collect pastport and lunch with parents . HEHEHE .
Thurs , it's teacher day . I didnt went sch since it's half day who bother ! HAHHA ... and yeap cuz of some reason . Patricia came to my house after that we went bedok cc . So coincident met pris joshua and rena and pris "guy" hahha ,SLACK awhile and those guys went off , so we 4girls went old airport road to eat , HEHEH . nothing much , then went back to primary school . Thn went jerrold house slack and stuff .
Friday , meet patricia again then went for tuition at orchard afterward went met joshua and we study again ! Then went bedok cc to see him play basketball . How sweet of him can accompany me and pat to pat's house ! HAHAH , then i called my parents to come pat's house to fetch me to grandma house for her birthday celebration .
Sat , woke up feeling so unwell and uneasy . Went seragoon for tuition afterward met jac went northpoint to study , camp in starbuck for like 5hrs . After that went paya lebar to meet parents and went for dinner!
Today totally feeling so unwell . Been sleeping the whole day . Jac came my house awhile too .
My dad ask me what happened to me . Feeling unwell or ? Why am i so pale again . I really dont know why . I just realized im lack of blood and get sick easily . Damn it got gastric pain , it's hurt man . TRUST ME .... argg .


What's is love ? I wonder . I realized something about girls . It doesn't matter who dump who or why . Whenever we see our ex, with another girl , it's always bother us . Not because we are not over him , but because we know that we used to be that girl .

Sunday, August 21, 2011

reflect.....











Yeah... feeling so much better.
Well, this week was totally a bad week. feeling so so so unwell , like duh... didnt went school on thursday and friday . Tue and Wed went school but whole day was like at sick bay ... fever , soart throat , blocked nose , ulcer , cough and many more . sighhhh . Didnt went out the whole week , been at home sleeping . GOSH .
Im going turn fat soon man . Yesterday was brother birthday ate ice cream cake again .... okay this few week been eating lots of ice cream ... Whenever i sick i will want sth sweet cuz medicine is way to bitter for me . so i will ask my maid to buy me ice cream to eat. Ice cream will make me happy and smile whenever im down . I ate ice cream cuz my head was so hot that i need sth to chill it . My taste bud was bitter too , i need sweet stuff .
Today feeling much better then the past few days ... tmr sch again. :(

Last night i have tot of this in mind .....
But if you think far ahead, one day, we'll still stop talking right? I don't think we will talk all our lives, till the day that we die. I guess i've learnt and realised a lot of things through this. I believe that this is planned by God. Maybe to let me learn something? Because everything in our lives are planned by God. And i believe there's a reason behind it. Hope we do stay friends, say hi and smile if we bump into each other(:

Don't we all want some closure in our lives? I'm sure everyone have lost someone precious along this ardous journey of growing up and wondered how that person is coping etc. I'm sorry for bursting your bubble but guys......look. If you did your part in trying to keep him/her by your side but nothing seems to work out, then he/she is not worth even one second of your time thinking about his/her existence. Simply because if he/she really do care, why would they even want out of your life in the first place? Even if you made a mistake, if they really love you and care for your well being, no mistake is too huge to be unforgivable.
What's meant to be yours, will be yours. Stop being depressed over someone who will never come back again and instead, stay happy. Guard your heart well so that it doesn't have to go through this same shit over again.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

time to move on ....




time to move on,

okay , im finally 15 !:D thanks for the netball girl giving a surprise party and stuff , which i didnt expect at all . thanks for the board too . THANKS ALOT MAN , i will keep it for life . we went thru alot despite the up and downs man . Thanks for you girls cheering me up , encouraging me , listening to me crap , keep my secrets and help me when i need help . Thanks alot , even though i know you girls for less then a year . i really really need to thanks god that you girls came into my life and i thanks god for giving such a awesome teammate.





I celebrate with my family on national day , as the next day im going out to with my bgss friend ! I didnt really celebrate much with my family . They brought me for dinner and stuff then brought me cake the end then went home to celebrate . nothing much . Thanks wanling marcus xhyrius dillon jaimee claire and her friend . thanks you guys , celebrating with me on my actual day . THANKS WANLING AND JAIMEE ESP , despite what we went thru you girls are still with me no matter what , No matter how many time we quarrel and fight we are still together , love you girls alot . Thanks for this 3plus friendship :) i appreciate much , you girls change my life alot . Overall , i can say this is the most memories celebration ?:) yes , im waiting for YOU , your birthday wish but you didnt wish me , it's alright , i know you dont really care/bother anymore , im alright with it :) im used to it already ...


so let me think , what did i done past few days , thur after school make passport-chinatown-home . friday , after school find netball friend with them til quite late reach home around 9 Today morning tuition then meet pamela then meet victor then go do my braces , okay it's super hurt now. damn it ... thank you both for accompany meeee . after that bus to the cathay eat lunch then went shop . went home around 8 , dad fetch me and paya lebar pamela came along too , my dad brought us to eat dinner too , alot interesting thing happened ! im lazy to elaborate . HAHHA .
Im looking forward for monday ? hmmm .






Saturday, March 26, 2011

Holding on my very last breath to tell you - iloveyou ♥.



Actually i dun intend to update. HAHAH !!! I really have no motivation now adays man !!!
All thanks to my weak body ...
so this whole week i cant rmb any single thing .
I can only remember i go for netball training .....
err ..... than i went slack and see dear play soccer and slack .... nth much !!!
yesterday i went to tuition , long journey reach there ard 8 cuz i slowly take my time went slack and eat and stuff .
yesterday was a bad bad bad friday . so so so damn hot the weather ....
today netball carnival , it's was so hot too but not as hot as yesterday .
my face hand leg all turn leg like got sun burn ...
i rmb a netball hit til my lip , my lip hit my braces and i got a very very big ulcer now . so pain.. rawr ))):
morning quarrels with family , they dun want me to go as i need to go my grandpa it's his 1years death anniversary today but i didnt went . not i dont want , is i want go netball carnival , i got reason why i want to go cuz i doesnt want to go training and i intend to go out afterward ....... and i was sick my parents doesnt want me go too . so yeah ...




Thanks for the past few months , i meant it . Thanks for the memories , thanks for the past 3 months , loving caring protecting me . Whether you truly love me not i wont really bother . I wont . But i really regret ending the r/s , im super regret . yes , im sorry i hurt you too . It was due to my selfishness . Im tired of holding on , i had hold on for 3months plus yet nothing change . I wont let anyone down anymore , this time i meant it i will give up yes i will . It's so terrible holding on . Thanks for cheering me up , making me smile whenever i received your text whenever i see you , Thanks for buying food coming my house to pass me whenever im hungry . Thanks for the gift thanks for the card . Thanks for telling me how much you miss and love me . Thanks for all those thing you have done for me . Thanks for telling me how you feel sometimes . Im sorry , im a failure girlfriend , im sorry i didnt really care about you , im sorry that i didnt put you in the first priority, im sorry that i put study first , im sorry that i hurt you , i didnt meant it ... totally didnt meant it . I really miss those time , those quarrel . Even though sometimes i feel very awkward that you kiss my cheek, i still miss those feeling. I am sorry that i have no reaction. I just feel so awkward if does it back to you. I rmb those time im still sleeping u come my house , im sorry to let you wait in my living room for hours while im sleeping , im sorry . I rmb got once it rain heavily you came to rush down to pass me umbrella , you afraid that i might fall sick yet i ignore you and went home , im sorry . I rmb those period i forgotten to bring my wallet , you brought me food during recess , thanks alot . Whatever is it , last long with your current girlfriend , be faithful be sincere to her . make her happy , treat her special . dont make her sad/disappointed . dont make her worry about you , and please take care of yourself. stop having injuries .

I have already make up mind , no matter what in future i wont be back with you . Im tired of those games yes those games . Maybe from the start this r/s was a game to you . I dont know . I promised myself i will wash my hands off everything . i wont care , i wont give a damn about you anymore . Im tired of everythign , way tired . i feel very worn out already . It's really time for me to move on and start a new fresh life ...

I dont know if you're reading this or not , if you did/didnt it wont make any differences .

Saturday, March 12, 2011

RIDICULOUS

I gonna start this post with my grumbling.
I am so pissed off ! Some nonsensical ppl just come tell me say im attached to samuel or what . I ask him who , he tell me he's my senior what sec5 . Okay this i believed but it's really not my prob and after he asked me stuff he deactivated his facebook . And he come my formspring and ask me full of nonsense shit . Is like whathe.... should i cling on him sia. NO! Whether he's handsome or what loser is non of my business okay and my blog mention who is like my own freedom alright . AND WHETHER HE IS GOOD LOOKING ANOT IS NOT MY PROBLEM!. Just some pathetic stalkers stalk my blog and wondering who is that silly....:( OKAY, first time being so mad... okay i shouldn't be....

btw me and this senior conversation .
March 12 at 10:54pm Report
hello.u are new in gm right?
Nicole Tay March 12 at 10:55pm
uh yeah . why
March 12 at 10:57pm Report
hahas jus askin hahas hear abt u frm my classmates
Nicole Tay March 12 at 11:00pm
who r u .
March 12 at 11:01pm Report
u datin samuel?
Nicole Tay March 12 at 11:02pm
EH WHO ARE YOU FIRST . WHO SAY ONE !??!1 WHO ARE YOU . WAD CLASS . DUN ANYHOW :@
March 12 at 11:03pm Report
thn u lyk who?i sec 5 luh..heard frm sec joy31 la samuel friends hahas
Nicole Tay March 12 at 11:04pm
for me to know and for you to find out . HAHHAHAHA :P WHO WHO WHO WHO WHO . WHAT PPL SAY ABOUT ME . AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FACEBOOK ......
March 12 at 11:06pm Report
hahaha so i take it as yes luh(:
Nicole Tay March 12 at 11:07pm
Yes/No you decide !! You want yes than yes no than no lor .
March 12 at 11:08pm Report
why ur answer like all same one sial hahas but why u chose samuel..he veri popular uh?last time i checked..hes a loser pls wif his clique come find mi in sch btr luh
March 12 at 11:10pm Report
ok luh i don disturb u alr hahas so how do u find gm uh?
Nicole Tay March 12 at 11:11pm
so you are the person ask me in fb lurh . cuz the person ask almost the same question u asked me now ........... THEN WHAT YOU EXPECT ... I GOT SAY I CHOOSE HIM MEH ? I DIDNT SAY YES , GET THE FACT RIGHT (((: I DUNNO WHO ARE YOU AND I DUNNO WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU BOTH , I DONT BOTHER AND I DONT CARE . I CANT HELP YOU GUYS TOO .
March 12 at 11:12pm Report
im not luh i just see ur formspring thn i ask luh cos ppl oso sae ley



I GOT THE FEELING IS HE ASK ME IN FORMSPRING , NOT ALL THE QUESTION SOME . SEE :
  1. karhwee

    do you like your current class/school?

    errrr ........

  2. karhwee

    If you're a girl , you'd rather choose a nerd or a gangster as your boyfriend ?

    normal la

  3. karhwee

    Name the top 3 hottest guys in your school ;)

    why not you tell me ?

  4. karhwee

    Have this question ever hit you; who are those you know that always will be and really be there for you? Ask yourself. Are you doing the same thing for them?

    ookkk

  5. karhwee

    complete the sentence I miss ___________ because ________.

    i miss joanne because i miss h2h talk with her .

  6. karhwee

    Would you have sex before marriage? Why or why not?

    are you my mum or dad or teacher or sth ?

  7. karhwee

    What would you do if one day you realise your partner starts taking drugs ? will you report him/her to the police or help him/her to quit or just simply let them cont. as long as they are happy ?

    quit larh . HELLO IS MY LOVE ONE , WOULD I BEAR TO SEE THEM IN JAIL OR STH NO RIGHT .

  8. karhwee

    If you met someone online , you two chatted till you two fall for each other . Than when you finally met , the opposite sex is extremely ugly , will you still be with that person if possible or just ignore him/her for the rest of your life .

    LOL ? IDK .

  9. karhwee

    so slutty tell people your bra size, slut.

    DID I ? READ PROPERTY -.-

  10. karhwee

    y u so slut

    why you so bitch ?

  11. karhwee

    what ur bra cup? A or B or C, so huge ur breast

    wad ur mum size ? u tell me ur mum one first lor ....

  12. karhwee

    b!tch

    hi bitch . HAHAHAHA

  13. karhwee

    so your blog says dear we will be together for a week already soon...so who is it??isit what those people who say about samuel?

    :@ WHO ARE YOU . WRITE DOWN UR NAME .

  14. karhwee

    samuel handsome anot?

    WTF WRONG . HOW I KNOW HE HANDSOME NOT -.-

  15. karhwee

    you sure you aren't the one writing all those formspring questions bout samuel?just trying to act like you are new and a boy already likes you?

    WRITE WHAT SHIT . I WONDER TOO EH . WAD TALKING U ? :@ who are you . if you think i act than act lor . wad make u happy than go ahead , god know it the best . no used denied here okay . im nt a kepboard warrior -.-

  16. karhwee

    y u boob so big

    WTF WRONG U GUYS -.-

  17. karhwee

    so have you found any cute looking seniors in gm anot?-winks-ur seniors like sec4 sec5

    u nvr even tell me who u r . than u went deactivated ur fb -.- i dunno who lurh . i nvr even see who . u tell me who lor . who the cute looking guy lor .

  18. karhwee

    don't act like you will definitely choose, what if the guy is seriously seriously damn bloodly ugly?you sure you will accept him?its easy to type but hard to show it...actions seak louder than words you know...

    if he's character and attitude good why not ? AND PLS LURH NOT TIL SO UGLY LURH LIKE DUH . common sense .

  19. karhwee

    have sex be4?

    no

  20. karhwee

    why u choose samuel? he so ugly

    -.-

  21. karhwee

    will u be together with a guy even if hes ugly n has pimple n is fat a loser in school but treats u very good or a handsome guy who is mr popular but treats u like shit?

    duh of course first one . Dont care look see character lor . HAHHHAHA :D so wad good looking yet character suck .

  22. karhwee

    do u like any guy in m now or find anyone good looking?

    m ? where . HUH . u mean gm ?



*CLEAR OFF MY MIND*